How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

You know what's cool? Yep.

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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