Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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