Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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were you expecting a joke

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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