I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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Rylan Clark

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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