what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

This is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops