roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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