What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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. . I am a whale

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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