I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

how much fish could a chicken

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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