Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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