A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Potassium? K.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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rarw

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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