Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

thumb_up thumb_down -16

yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -18

dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops