Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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