Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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