what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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God is real.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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