Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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