Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

thumb_up thumb_down -14

q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops