Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

^ That's not even funny ^

thumb_up thumb_down -21

We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

This is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops