Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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David Cameron

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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