If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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