Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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This is not a joke.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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