How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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how much fish could a chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops