How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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WHY DO JEWS HATE GERMANY? THEY DON'T THEY FORGAVE THE NAZIS :-) ( . )( . ) -------

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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