How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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