- Anti Joke

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops