How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops