Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Hey Shea

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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