Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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Your're racist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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