A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops