What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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