Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops