Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Yes

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops