Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your adopted.....

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops