- Anti Joke

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

i wonder who made this website? a human

9/11 my birthday