Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

Killing your friend as a joke.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

pudding

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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