A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A gay man watches football.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops