Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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