Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

thumb_up thumb_down

John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down

Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

thumb_up thumb_down

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops