A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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