How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

whats the stage after cancer? you die

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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