A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops