How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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womans rights...

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops