Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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womans having rights.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops