Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops