what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Equal rights!

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops