What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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haha

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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