A Jewish man walks into an ice-cream shop. Using the money he ha eared from his full time job, he orders a chocolate ice-cream in a waffle cone.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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whats 2+2? 4

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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