Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

Donald Trump

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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