Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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