What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops