Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

what's inflation? a hollow cost.

"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

How do five gay guys walk? In One Direction: 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

Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

Micheal Curran...that is all.

Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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