How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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