you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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