Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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