How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a man walked into a bar....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops