What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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