How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops