What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Bob Saget that is all

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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