What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops